Jesus does not support cultural and religious restrictions against women

Luke 10:38-42

Nov 11, 2025

Now it came to pass as they went that he entered into a certain village and a certain woman named Martha received him into her home And she had a sister called Mary who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard his word But Martha was distressed with much serving and came to him and said Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone command her therefore that she help me And Jesus answered and said to her Martha Martha you are anxious and troubled about many things But one thing is needful and Mary has chosen that excellent portion which shall not be taken away from her

Comments: ^{Luke 10:38-42}This passage, portraying Mary and Martha, has long been characterized as a struggle between women and women—between women who are spiritual, the Mary’s, and women who are not, the Martha’s.

Even if the characterization were true—which it isn’t—then why aren’t complementarian leaders brought to task for not following Jesus’ explicit command to “leave her alone,” and to allow women, alongside men, to freely “choose the better thing?”

The characterization of the Mary and Martha issue as a “Who’s the most spiritual?” thing, is way off. We see this in the scene where Lazarus died, and the situation was reversed, with Mary being the “spiritual” one who encouraged her sister to go out and see Jesus. Mary didn’t want to. At that time, she was wallowing in grief and disappointment. Jesus had let her down. He hadn’t shown up when she thought he should have, and she had to be encouraged to go out to meet him. In that situation, Martha was the one choosing “the better thing,” the hope of the resurrection.

Isn’t that the way with all mortals, whether male or female? Sometimes we are at our “spiritual” best and sometimes not?

The point of this story is not the spiritual woman-Vs-the unspiritual woman. Although complementarian and traditional-role-religion leadership have successfully used this to pit women against women in a stupid Mary-Vs-Martha argument. Their divide and conquer strategy has always been effective. Rather, this is an issue about the elephant in the room, the gender-role issue that Jesus settled right then and there by approving Mary’s choice to—without asking anyone’s permission—take off her apron and sit at his feet right alongside the men, … as their autonomous equal.

Mary’s choice has gotten her a few nods from pulpits and theologians but otherwise been regulated to what they consider unimportant issues “between women” and generally ignored by traditional Christian scholarship.

And for good reason. Because, of necessity, theologians must generally ignore the action of Mary and the interactions between Martha and Jesus, on this occasion, or risk upsetting the applecart of male governance in the home and church. Piper goes as far as to extend it to the workplace, saying that no complementarian man should work for a woman.

The controversy that began with Mary on that long ago day, still remains to be resolved. And the real issue is not between the Mary’s the Martha’s, but between the laity and the leadership, when leaders teach that work, activities, and even autonomy should be permitted or forbidden based on sex.

The perception of what constitutes a woman’s place in ministry and society was the driving force behind Martha’s complaint against her sister. To understanding hearts, Jesus shattered that perception when he publicly rebuked the concept of gender segregation and opened the door for women to “sit at his feet” on equal par with men.

This wrong perception harms men as well as women. Many men excel in the home, adore their wives and families, and do not feel in the least called into “servant leadership,” as complementarians love to call their doctrine of male governance. Such men are shamed and ridiculed in complementarian writings, which do a great disservice to men by convincing them that they are either lords of creation, most especially over women, or that they are wimps. Either way, complementarians set men up to fail as Christians while they are yet boys.

Instilling in young boy’s psyches the belief that their sex is what makes them lords of creation, especially over women—rather than the image of God, which the same in both sexes, and the mandate given to both sexes to wisely and lovingly manage God’s creation together—instills in susceptible men and boys two of the worst sins described in the Bible, those of pride and the need to control others. Pride is listed as the worst of the seven deadly sins, and the need to control others (most especially women/wives) forfeits faith, without which we cannot please God.

In the scene with Mary and Martha, we see a woman stepping out of the “place” culture has prescribed for her, sitting with the men, and learning at the feet of the master.

In their culture, only men did that.

Martha couldn’t handle this. It obviously agitated her, while Jesus cut to chase and addressed the real issue.

It is unlikely that Martha and Mary were the only women present to serve Jesus, his disciples, and whatever guests were present at the gathering. Likely a large gathering. There is little doubt that Martha already had help in the kitchen, a combination of servants and other women who were present, because that’s what women do. It is also likely that she resented the fact that Mary did not seem to be bothered in least that she wasn’t helping Martha and the other women “do what women do.”

Mary’s presence at Jesus’ feet alongside the men was the elephant in the room. Jesus pretended not to notice. The men pretended not to notice. The guests pretended not to notice. And Martha wasn’t going to stand for it.

This scenario continues to play out in many Christian gatherings today, where men feel little or no pressure to do anything but sit back and enjoy the events, while pressure is brought to bear on women to be in the kitchen, cooking, cleaning, making sure everything runs smoothly for everyone else.

For some women, this comes naturally. They are good at it and enjoy it. For some, it is truly a ministry of love. But for others, this is not the case. There are women whose place is at “the master’s feet,” and their ministries fall into the category of what has always been wrongly considered the realm of men.

There is no record of the men complaining to Jesus about Mary’s presence “at his feet.” Might they have been uncomfortable with her female presence in their usually exclusive all-male circle and were waiting for Jesus to put her in her place? Were those in Jesus inner circle accustomed to seeing women like Mary in their private camp? Whatever the reason, with Jesus saying nothing against Mary’s unorthodox public presence, the men wisely chose to keep quiet. His disciples may have known what his response would be if anyone said something. They may have already encountered such a situation and knew better than to say anything.

By publicly rebuking Martha for trying to take the “better thing” from her sister, Jesus clearly put the sinful practice of gender-role-segregation in its place. Yet complementarian scholarship continues to restrict this to a women-only issue by turning the meaning of this passage into a strawman argument about spiritual-Vs-unspiritual women.

Yet there is no evidence that Martha was an unspiritual woman, only that she was sold out to the cultural norm of her day that held women and men to unfair and unreasonable gender-roles along with sinful double standards of behavior and morality. Among complementarians, this is still the case today.

Jesus’ example was to leave women alone to follow him as they choose. Christians today should do the same. Jesus did not hold to cultural norms, religious restrictions, and double standards for women and men, … and he took advantage in the case of Mary, to say so.

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